Diary of Jane
by KiwiStar
Summary: *Song is Diary of Jane by Breaking Benjamin* He loves her, if only she'd give him some kind of reaction. If only she'd let him into her heart. John M./OC


**Hey guys, Kiwi here, just letting you know that this oneshot is for my story Unlikely Attractions:) I don't own the song, I only own my OC Shay. The song is Diary of Jane by Breaking Benjamin. Thank you Angel for beta-reading this:) Go vote on my poll, please and read, review and enjoy:)**_

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_If I had to_

_I would put myself right beside you_

_So let me ask_

_Would you like that?_

_Would you like that?_

_And I don't mind_

_If you say this love is the last time_

_So now I'll ask_

_Do you like that?_

_Do you like that?_

John threw an arm over Shay's shoulders as they walked down the hall. The incandescent lights in the ceiling cast a dim glow over them as they walked. Millions of thoughts raced through his head as the walk went on in silence. It was usually like this, after all, she wasn't much of a talker and in ways, he didn't mind. He could skip out on rants about how unfair life was and how cute a pair of shoes were. Yet, he just wanted some kind of reaction out of her when he pulled her close.

He wouldn't mind if she stopped the relationship altogether. If it was what she wanted, then he would do whatever it took to give it to her. There wasn't a sacrifice he wouldn't make for her, and he wondered if she knew that. He wondered if she likes that he'd do anything and everything for her.

_No_

_Something's getting in the way_

_Something's just about to break_

_I will try to find my place in the diary of Jane_

_So tell me how it should be_

Every time he'd try to ask her, he'd stop himself. It was as if something was getting in the way, something that could eventually break them apart. This wasn't how a relationship was supposed to work. There was supposed to be talking, and the exchanging of thoughts and feelings. He wanted so badly to get into her heart and find his place there. If only she'd tell him how to do it, and how this relationship should be.

_Try to find out what makes you tick_

_As I lie down_

_Sore and sick_

_Do you like that?_

_Do you like that?_

_There's a fine line between love and hate_

_And I don't mind_

_Just let me say that I like that_

_I like that_

That night, after they had a silent departing, he went back to his own hotel room and laid down on the bed. His body was sore and he felt sick, as if he were catching a cold. He tried to figure out what made Shay tick; if there was a way to make her angry, she never showed it.

She was never angry, a quality he had learned to accept, yet still doubted. Everybody could get angry, everybody could raise their voice and yell out all their emotions, but not Shay. No, never Shay. Again, thoughts of her plagued his mind and he can add another thing to his list of questions about her. Does she like that he worries about her and thinks of her relentlessly?

At least she didn't hate him, to his knowledge at least. Nobody knew anything about who Shay liked or didn't like. There was a fine line between love and hate and he knew they were balancing precariously on the edge, not knowing what side of the line they fell on. The strange thing was, he didn't mind it at all. As long as he was with her, he could say that he liked that.

_Desperate, I will crawl_

_Waiting for so long_

_No love, there is no love_

_Die for anyone_

_What have I become_

Everybody saw it, but Shay. Everybody saw how desperate he was to find the real her, the side she let nobody else see. He had been waiting for years to finally muster up the courage to talk to her, and was waiting even longer to figure her out. Still he saw nothing from her. No emotion escaped her as she stumbled around, stuttering as she uttered out a small and quiet sentence. She didn't know the effect she had on him.

Now, he wouldn't think twice about dying for someone. He had become a new, different person and he liked the change. If only she'd react.

_Something's getting in the way_

_Something's just about to break_

_I will try to find my place in the diary of Jane_

_As I burn another page_

_As I look the other way_

_I still try to find my place_

_In the diary of Jane_

He'd had enough of the silence and the lack of human reaction from her. It had escalated to where he was ready to give up and move on. The next day, they had met each other in the hall and he mustered up a small smile as the words burned in his mouth, tempting him to release the flames and ruin whatever they had, if they even had anything. Clearing his throat, he tried to look anywhere else but her, knowing if he looked into her eyes, he'd back out of it.

"J-John, I had…um…something I-I need to say." She smiled sweetly and he nodded. "I-I'd like to thank you for everything you've done. I really appreciate it, I'm just so happy to have somebody to care. I know I should have said this earlier, b-but I kept backing out of it. I-I love you, John." The words softly left her lips and a smile crossed his features as he held her chin in his hand and placed a soft kiss on her lips.

Slowly, they parted, faces still centimeters away from each other's. "I love you too, Shay." He replied as he kissed her again. John got his wish. She had opened the door to her heart and he was in. He had finally found his place in Shay's heart.


End file.
